I don't know what's happening to me, I'm a monster. I want to kill. It's twisted and fucked I know but I ALWAYS have this urge to kill! Like I was standing by the lift listening to my ipod, a lady walks past. I stared at her, I wanted to kill her violently in the lift. I realized that I was moving forward, and immediately stepped back. Like seriously??
I was on a swing at Carla & Ryan. Their cat was running across the yard. I swear I almost killed that too! But it's really weird when whenever I see someone or something which is alive, I want to kill it!! I was on the verge of getting off the swing and running after it.
Everyone was watching, I couldn't.
Basically I think that if this continues I will end up killing someone without a doubt...
It's such a strong fucking urge!! IT'S FUCKED UP! I don't know what happened, I'm just so DESTRUCTIVE. I want to destroy everything and everyone all the fucking time...
I feel too cool for school. Literally. Like, who the fuck do my parents think they are sending me to school? Like HELLOO!?? I AM A SATANIST. I DON'T WANT TO SEE JEWS. I DON'T GIVE A FUCKING SHIT!! I AM BETTER THAN SCHOOL!!!!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Movies. ;)
I like movies, well I mean watching them is cool but I find making them is much more entertaining. =]
So yesterday I was so damn bored I made like a random video, I mean it was a trailer to a movie which never existed! BUT it was fun. :) It made no sense, basically of a haunted town...
I've decided to make another video today, I don't know if Sally is going to come over or not coz she has so much homework even though it's on the weekend. =[
I hope she does, I have so many fun things we could do. It would be like the best sleepover yet. xD
I mean of course all of them involve cameras. But that's what makes life fun right? Cameras. Maybe I'm a little OTT about this but it's my passion! xD It issss and it's like, it's a part of my soul. Making movies is a part of my soul, along with the movie 'Jennifer's Body.' It's a part of me! AND my phone. Oh yes. It's earned a large selection of my soul. But my laptop & ipod are bigger. X)
HAHA! That last paragraph failed a little bit. =P
But still. I'm being truthful here.
I just fucking hope she comes. Without her, I'll be so bored. Yesterday I got so bored I went to sleep. *_* That is sad.
So what else has been on my mind... umm... like nothing really. All I know is I really dislike my mom and never want to return to her. EVER. I mean, I know this is mean but I actually don't want to be her daughter anymore. She's basically destroying me. I'll be having such a nice and fun day, but then SHE comes along and ruins it by screaming at me, asking me to do stuff, then expecting me to apologize for being a bitch. FUCK HER. I HATE HER.
I won't apologize for being me! And NO ONE tells me what to do! And if they do, I just MIGHT do it and IF I DO I WILL HAVE A COMMENT TO MAKE! THAT is me. I am me and I will NOT change under any circumstances.
At school, the reason I don't have like 40 friends like everyone else is because I'm different. I'm not going to hide it. I won't lie to you and tell you I like Justin Bieber. I'll mock him. I won't pretend to be someone I'm not JUST to seem nice. Coz I'm not nice. SO FUCK YOU.
I am who I am, I don't give a shit what people think because no one controls me.
I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm saying I'm better than them ;]
So yesterday I was so damn bored I made like a random video, I mean it was a trailer to a movie which never existed! BUT it was fun. :) It made no sense, basically of a haunted town...
I've decided to make another video today, I don't know if Sally is going to come over or not coz she has so much homework even though it's on the weekend. =[
I hope she does, I have so many fun things we could do. It would be like the best sleepover yet. xD
I mean of course all of them involve cameras. But that's what makes life fun right? Cameras. Maybe I'm a little OTT about this but it's my passion! xD It issss and it's like, it's a part of my soul. Making movies is a part of my soul, along with the movie 'Jennifer's Body.' It's a part of me! AND my phone. Oh yes. It's earned a large selection of my soul. But my laptop & ipod are bigger. X)
HAHA! That last paragraph failed a little bit. =P
But still. I'm being truthful here.
I just fucking hope she comes. Without her, I'll be so bored. Yesterday I got so bored I went to sleep. *_* That is sad.
So what else has been on my mind... umm... like nothing really. All I know is I really dislike my mom and never want to return to her. EVER. I mean, I know this is mean but I actually don't want to be her daughter anymore. She's basically destroying me. I'll be having such a nice and fun day, but then SHE comes along and ruins it by screaming at me, asking me to do stuff, then expecting me to apologize for being a bitch. FUCK HER. I HATE HER.
I won't apologize for being me! And NO ONE tells me what to do! And if they do, I just MIGHT do it and IF I DO I WILL HAVE A COMMENT TO MAKE! THAT is me. I am me and I will NOT change under any circumstances.
At school, the reason I don't have like 40 friends like everyone else is because I'm different. I'm not going to hide it. I won't lie to you and tell you I like Justin Bieber. I'll mock him. I won't pretend to be someone I'm not JUST to seem nice. Coz I'm not nice. SO FUCK YOU.
I am who I am, I don't give a shit what people think because no one controls me.
I'm not saying I'm perfect, I'm saying I'm better than them ;]
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Latest news!! xD
Okay, so I haven't blogged for awhile. WELL I have some news, I continued my research on Satanism and about 2 days ago dedicated my soul to Him! It may be weird, but everything I ask him to do, he does! Like my mom's bf was gonna come over, I hate him. I asked Satan to make something happen so he wouldn't come over, and maybe I could go to the park. Simple, but it worked! *3 minutes* later I got a phone call from my mom,"He's not coming anymore..." AND I went to the park, and she never usually lets me. That could have been a coincidence, so I tested it again.
I asked Him to not do an oral, for class, and I didn't have to do it!! My phone got confiscated, usually they take the phone for a week, I asked Him that they'll give it back to me, and THEY DID.
Now, I decided one last thing, the teacher who confiscated my cell phone, I wanted revenge. Doing a ritual could go back on me and cause my death, so I asked Him to embarrass her. We were sitting in hebrew. She's shouting at how she confiscated my phone and how I won't get it back for a week, meanwhile the Grade Head and I had a deal, I would keep my mouth shut and she wouldn't know that he gave my phone back. Guess what? People were laughing... in.her.face. She's like oblivious! After all of that, I knew it was time to dedicate my soul to Him, after all he had done. I wrote a thing in my own blood, and he's been good to me. =]
I told my one friend, she's in shock. I have an online friend who's also a satanist, he's been teaching me things about the whole religion. Its cool... BUT now lets move onto this guy.
His name is Zardoss, he's hot and satanic. He's nice and stuff, but I only ever thought of him as a friend... a friend and only that. I logged onto Facebook, and saw all these statuses about love and stuff, how he hates it. All of a sudden he's telling me how he loves this girl, and he doesn't know what to do. He feels weak and stupid because he really likes this girl. I was giving him advice, he was freaking out! Then he said..."I like you, it was you.. I can bet you didn't expect this.. well bye bye because now I'm going to get as drunk as a Bulzebub.. I'll talk to you in maybe 6 hours, 6 minutes and 6 seconds if the lord has punished me for what I've done.."
I didn't know what to say! What CAN you say?? I spoke to him again, he needed 3 stitches because he did a ritual that is supposed to stop his emotions, but it made things worse. I don't get this, it's lame and pathetic... I mean, we're never gonna meet. He lives in Europe, and I only like him as a friend anyways...
He seemed against the idea of liking me, so I had to go along with it. TO SEE these statuses,"Being rejected sucks.." "I am in pain, I will fade into darkness, my emotions will fade too with your cold reply..." I mean like, WHAT CAN I DO? This isn't my fault.
So now I feel bad even though I didn't do anything... bleh, anyways Satan will fix this for me. =]
I asked Him to not do an oral, for class, and I didn't have to do it!! My phone got confiscated, usually they take the phone for a week, I asked Him that they'll give it back to me, and THEY DID.
Now, I decided one last thing, the teacher who confiscated my cell phone, I wanted revenge. Doing a ritual could go back on me and cause my death, so I asked Him to embarrass her. We were sitting in hebrew. She's shouting at how she confiscated my phone and how I won't get it back for a week, meanwhile the Grade Head and I had a deal, I would keep my mouth shut and she wouldn't know that he gave my phone back. Guess what? People were laughing... in.her.face. She's like oblivious! After all of that, I knew it was time to dedicate my soul to Him, after all he had done. I wrote a thing in my own blood, and he's been good to me. =]
I told my one friend, she's in shock. I have an online friend who's also a satanist, he's been teaching me things about the whole religion. Its cool... BUT now lets move onto this guy.
His name is Zardoss, he's hot and satanic. He's nice and stuff, but I only ever thought of him as a friend... a friend and only that. I logged onto Facebook, and saw all these statuses about love and stuff, how he hates it. All of a sudden he's telling me how he loves this girl, and he doesn't know what to do. He feels weak and stupid because he really likes this girl. I was giving him advice, he was freaking out! Then he said..."I like you, it was you.. I can bet you didn't expect this.. well bye bye because now I'm going to get as drunk as a Bulzebub.. I'll talk to you in maybe 6 hours, 6 minutes and 6 seconds if the lord has punished me for what I've done.."
I didn't know what to say! What CAN you say?? I spoke to him again, he needed 3 stitches because he did a ritual that is supposed to stop his emotions, but it made things worse. I don't get this, it's lame and pathetic... I mean, we're never gonna meet. He lives in Europe, and I only like him as a friend anyways...
He seemed against the idea of liking me, so I had to go along with it. TO SEE these statuses,"Being rejected sucks.." "I am in pain, I will fade into darkness, my emotions will fade too with your cold reply..." I mean like, WHAT CAN I DO? This isn't my fault.
So now I feel bad even though I didn't do anything... bleh, anyways Satan will fix this for me. =]
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